


Devoid of Hope

by sondronism



Category: Hermitcraft RPF
Genre: Angst, Evo is mentioned, Gen, Grian and Mumbo brainrot, Grian has trauma, Implied/Referenced Character Death, Mumbot if you will, Pretty much all the other hermits - Freeform, Robot Mumbo, The Void, anxiety and ptsd, grian gets possessed at some point, grian wit wings, none of the hermits are human, season 6 but also season 7 later, uhhh idk I’ll add more tags later, void demon Grian, xisuma is very wholesome and nice
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-03
Updated: 2021-01-17
Packaged: 2021-03-13 18:53:57
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,765
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28533231
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sondronism/pseuds/sondronism
Summary: The other hermits have no idea what Grian is, and he doesn’t intend to tell them, but surprisingly Grian finds they put no importance in it. After losing everything once again, Grian finds it hard to start out in hermitcraft. However, he finds comfort in the other hermits, seeing they all share a common goal: to have a purpose, away from the same dangers that had previously ruined Grian’s life. Over the season, Grian finds himself feeling more and more safe, until his “home” begins calling back for him and he has to find a way to avoid going back while also keeping all his friends safe
Comments: 2
Kudos: 69





	1. That’s awfully grim isn’t it?

**Author's Note:**

> Hope I actually follow through with this. If you want more content you can follow me on Instagram or tumblr @ sondronism where I’ll probably post any art I make of this fic. Anyway... hope you enjoy

Grian couldn’t help but feel a bit nervous at the opportunity in front of him. Normally he’d feel ecstatic. It was kind of impossible for him to be happy after everything that had happened though. Still he was incredibly grateful seeing as he quite literally owed Xisuma his life. And now, he was the newest member of Hermitcraft. Some part of Grian’s mind worried he would mess everything up, and that if the others found out about what he really was, he’d be shunned forever. He tried to ignore that part of his mind. These people were nice, every one of them wanted their own refuge, just like Grian did, and Xisuma had somehow seen something in him, inviting him not from pity of his previous situation, but from genuine respect.

It was something Grian would need to get used to. After almost a full day of flying across the server looking around, he decided on a good location for his base. It wasn’t exactly what he was used to, but he figured it would be interesting to build in the futuristic district. There was not a plan involved anywhere prior to the decision, but that only made it all the more exciting. Grian looked down at the sea from his boat. He could barely make out a sunken ship that looked more than a little worse for wear. An idea popped into his head almost instantly, and he swam down to inspect the ship closer. That would be where he’d settle down for now. It wasn’t much, and he certainly didn’t want to stay in a sunken ship for long, but it was a start. 

Grian wasted no time getting himself settled with the basic materials in his new home, but he’d be damned if he didn’t live in something he was proud of making, so after some trial and error, he decided on building a giant bottle around his ship. It was a silly idea. Grian wondered if his old server mates would be amused by it. Truth be told he was trying to avoid thinking about Evo, but it was hard. He could only go so long telling himself he could get over it easily. At this point in time he would have given anything to go back to Evo, to all his friends. But it wasn’t possible. Now he was left with the aftermath of that tragedy. It left him feeling quite empty. 

He probably would have made faster progress on his base were it not for him thinking so much. Soon it all just became too much. The more he built, the more he thought. Sometimes all he could do was float in the water, not caring if he was impaled by a trident or not, because none of it mattered if Evo was still gone, if his friends were still gone. 

It was hard to sleep as well. He just wished he could turn his mind off for a day. Building helped, but the lack of noise left him no choice but to feel awful. At least he hadn’t cried since he had arrived at Hermitcraft. Grian hated crying. It made him feel weak and he avoided it at all costs, even when it was so hard it was painful. He would be strong, even if he didn’t have to, it made him feel a lot better about himself. He really needed that after taking a look at his stable enough starter base. He could already tell he would have to do a lot more work on it, not to mention he didn’t even know if it would look good. Walking in the door to the ship and having the uncomfortable feeling of being drenched only heightened his frustration. He tried to flap his wings to dry them, but only got himself more wet in the process. With a disappointed and exhausted sigh, he went to bed, not bothering to dry himself off, hoping he’d feel more motivated to work in the morning. 

~~~

Grian did not feel more motivated to work in the morning. In fact he probably felt even less motivated. He had to admit, this start was a bit rockier than he had expected. Maybe he put too much pressure on himself, maybe not enough, maybe he just wasn’t trying hard enough. Grian groaned, pulling his blanket over his head and wishing he hadn’t woken up in the first place. 

His ears perked up when he heard a knock at his door. Who could that be? A part of him was nervous at the sudden indication of social interaction but logically he knew it would go well. Grian just supposed he was… grieving. That wouldn’t exactly make you feel all warm and fuzzy inside. Shoving the blanket off of himself, Grian jumped out of bed, taking a quick breath before finally opening his door. He stepped back quickly, allowing a drenched Xisuma to step inside. The water didn’t seem to bother him though, as it just dripped right off of his armour. 

“Quite an interesting entrance, huh?” Xisuma looked like he woke up on the right side of the bed. More happy and energetic than Grian could ever hope to be at the moment. The smaller hermit managed an awkward chuckle. He then realized he wasn’t really in the mood to talk with anybody. He tried his best to seem upbeat though. He didn’t want to be rude or make anything awkward, and besides, maybe talking would make him feel better, despite how uncomfortable he felt. 

“Just came to check up on the new guy. A shipwreck is certainly an interesting starter base! We didn’t have these in the previous world, so I’m excited to see what else you do with it. This is just your starter house I assume?” Xisuma carried the conversation flawlessly. Grian nodded. He was thankful X didn’t expect him to talk much, though any other time he wouldn’t be able to shut up. 

“Ah alright, I must say, I didn’t expect you to build in the futuristic district. Have you built many futuristic houses?” Grian had to think about the question, his eyes drifting to the floor. Some of his creations came close but, ultimately, Grian stayed away from futuristic builds. It was with a little embarrassment that Grian shook his head, once again giving Xisuma another wordless answer. He panicked just a bit, hoping he wasn’t making it seem like he wanted the admin to leave.

Xisuma didn’t seem upset at Grian’s response though, reacting with an interested “oh” before pausing in silence for a moment. He looked like he was considering something. The air and Xisuma’s attitude seemed to change a bit. Grian tensed, hoping he wasn’t upset, but as he looked up to meet the admin’s eyes, he felt a firm and reassuring hand on his shoulder. Xisuma had an unidentifiable look in his eyes

“Grian, I really hope you enjoy your stay here. I know you’ve been through a lot lately so don’t push yourself too hard okay? If you ever need anything please don’t hesitate to ask.” Grian felt his eyes start to sting, and he held back the tears he knew could start coming any second. 

“Thank you” Grian’s voice was a bit shaky but he managed to stop himself from breaking down in front of the only person here he kind of knew. Those words meant a lot to Grian. He wished there was some way for him to show how much he appreciated Xisuma. All he could do was say a simple thank you though. 

Although Grian couldn’t see it through the bulky helmet, he could tell Xisuma was smiling at him. He returned the gesture, hoping it came off as genuine as it felt. “Well, if you don’t have any questions or anything, I’ll leave you to it.” He moved slowly to the door, giving Grian enough time to say something. Did he want to say something? Well… he supposed he could clear up one thing that was at the back of his mind. Grian forced himself to feel confident enough that he would be able to speak properly this time. 

“actually” Xisuma’s head turned to look at Grian expectantly  
“I was hoping you could fill me in on everyone else on the server? There are quite a lot of people and I don’t really know anyone” except maybe one person. Grian thought. Well, this would be his chance to find out. 

It seemed Xisuma was hoping for that answer. “I’d love to!”

~

To Grian’s surprise, Xisuma had told him what he wanted to know right away. Grian sat behind the admin in a boat as he waited for him to explain where they were going. After rowing for not too long, an island came into view. Someone had clearly set up their base there, there was some sort of structure built in a tree with chests littered around the said tree and on the rest of the island. Grian didn’t even notice someone had settled down so close by.

“I believe this is where Mumbo is setting up shop.” Grian’s breath caught in his throat. So it was him. He tried to hide his surprise at the name. Luckily Xisuma was looking forwards. “I think you two will get along nicely. I suppose you’ll probably interact a lot since you’re neighbors hmm?”

“I-I guess so” a part of Grian felt relieved to be so close to a familiar face but another part of him wondered if it wouldn’t turn out as good as he hoped. The two of them didn’t exactly stop talking at the happiest of circumstances. Still, even if things weren’t the most comfortable between them, Grian was determined to make it work. Now that he fully had the opportunity to change his life for the better, he wouldn’t let something like this deter him. 

Grian was a bit surprised at his own sudden change in attitude, but he didn’t necessarily mind at all. Perhaps talking to Xisuma did help. “I think he’s down in the mine somewhere but I’m sure he’d be happy to meet his new neighbor! Wanna say hi?” Grian froze. He would much rather have his talk with Mumbo be between the two of them. It would just be awkward with Xisuma there. “N-nope!” He quickly declined, perhaps a bit too quickly, and chuckled awkwardly. 

“Just… nerves, you know” he hoped he sounded convincing enough, though it wasn’t necessarily a lie. Xisuma turned around to nod understandingly and rowed away from the small island. For the rest of the day, Xisuma talked a bit about everyone on the server, stopping by at most of their starting places. Grian met a couple of them, and wasn’t all that mad about it.

Soon he started to notice something about all of them though. None of them were human. Xisuma hadn’t mentioned anything about that when he invited Grian. It wasn’t that odd, but it seemed like an intentional thing, especially because he hadn’t seen any of the same species. Grian supposed it wouldn’t hurt to ask, since they had already finished their tour. “Hey, Xisuma?” He said quietly as the other looked back at him. They had already arrived at Grian’s ship. 

“Yeah? Something on your mind?”

“Yeah actually, I was wondering, are there any humans here?”

“Humans? Oh I don’t really go looking for them I guess. We’re mostly here to find refuge. And have fun while we do it!” Xisuma chuckled, earning a small smile from Grian. 

“I see… so is that why there aren’t many people of the same species? You look somewhere different every time you search for a new member?”

“Yeah. I would invite more but… there aren’t many of us magic folk left. I try to save some people but… I can’t do much for others.” Xisuma got much quieter at the end of his sentence. The way he said it almost made it seem like he was ashamed of himself. Grian realized suddenly that Xisuma probably still felt bad about not being able to save Grian’s friends. It wasn’t surprising, and Grian doubted he was a special case, but the sad, apologetic look in Xisuma’s eyes held so much emotion, so much regret. Grian didn’t even want to think about how hard doing that kind of thing must be. 

“Well, I think you’ve done plenty for me at least.” Grian gave a reassuring smile. Thanks to Xisuma he felt like he was in his element once again. He’d have to talk to him more. Xisuma seemed to cheer up at Grian’s words, patting him on the shoulder and giving him a proper goodbye as Grian stepped off the boat to go back to his ship. He waved at the admin, still smiling even after he was gone. Grian had worried a little about becoming attached to people again, but even if it all ended in disaster later, he could still be happy now, in this moment. Maybe this wouldn’t be so bad.


	2. Well maybe it’s okay,

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Grian talks to an old friend

It was about mid-day and Grian was beginning to grow anxious to make the confrontation he knew would have to happen eventually. He’d been collecting sand all day and couldn’t help but let his mind wander during the dull task. Anxiety creeping in became all too familiar these days. He’d have to deal with it though. It was time. 

Grian felt his palms begin to sweat as he made his landing on the nearby island. He just hoped this wouldn’t be too awkward. Looking around he noticed he was the only one there. Maybe it was a bad time. Maybe he wasn’t here right now. Grian turned his back on the island and just as he was about to take off, a familiar voice stopped him in his tracks. 

“Oh! Hello Grian!” Grian turned to look at who had addressed him, mouth slightly open in shock. Not knowing how to react, the winged hermit kept staring at his old friend. He wasn’t sure whether or not to believe he was real. 

“Um, are you alright?” Mumbo asked with a hint of concern. He looked just as Grian remembered him, albeit with a change of clothes. His metallic exterior held its luster, black hair and moustache looking as perfectly uniform as ever. The robotic hermit now wore a suit, perfectly matching his calculated, put-together personality. Well, if you could even call it a personality since it came from a robot that had never felt true human emotion. 

“You don’t hate me do you?” Grian yelled, a pained expression on his face. He mentally facepalmed himself. That was not exactly what he expected to come out of his mouth. 

“What? Why would I hate you?” He asked, seemingly not upset at Grian at all. 

Grian blinked at the unbothered response. “I… gosh. I’m just so glad you’re okay.” Grian couldn’t help but smile at the end of his sentence. 

“What? Really? I thought you didn’t need me anymore.” Mumbo said, looking confused. 

“That’s what… they… thought. I didn’t want you to be thrown out. I hoped you could find a better life out of there. And, well, I guess I was right.” Mumbo smiled faintly at that, the most familiar thing Grian had seen in far too long. Now, it felt like Grian needed it more than ever. Mumbo had been doing okay! That was all Grian ever wanted from him, and though Mumbo may never understand that, it was okay. Mumbo was okay now, and Grian was okay now. 

“You certainly were right!” Mumbo said. “I just know you’ll love it here Grian.” His tone suddenly seemed really… emotive. Grian had never heard him like that. It was odd, but it also felt so natural he almost didn’t notice.

Grian chuckled “Well who am I to doubt you? Anyway, we’ve got a lot of catching up to do, don't we?”

“Indeed! It has been quite a while hasn’t it? I missed you.”

“I missed you too. I was really lonely without you there you know.” Grian didn’t speak the name of his old home, if he could even call it that. It scared him, like if he spoke its name it would come back and take him, consume him just like it wanted to. 

“Oh actually, that reminds me, I have something for you.” Grian raised an eyebrow. What could Mumbo possibly have to give him? Suddenly recognition set in as Grian saw Mumbo pull something out of his pocket. 

It was a small LED that clearly didn’t work anymore, the red stained glass cracked. Grian’s eyes widened at the item. He had no clue why Mumbo felt the need to keep it, but he still knew exactly what it was. Back when Grian and Mumbo lived together, Grian recognized it as the light that displayed whether or not Mumbo was “malfunctioning”. The first time that light turned off was the last time Grian saw Mumbo. He wondered what Mumbo thought of it, what it meant to him. 

Grian took the light gently and carefully, scared to break it any more that it already was. It was about the size of Grian’s fingernail, vaguely making Grian worry he’d lose it eventually. He looked up at Mumbo and smiled sadly, thinking about all the time the two had spent away from each other with a bit of disappointment. “Thank you.”

Mumbo smiled back “Make sure you keep it safe. It means even if you’re not perfect, you can still have a good life. In case you ever forget.” Grian felt warmth grow in his heart. The light was broken, and it was better that way. Mumbo didn’t need anything or anyone to tell him if he was good enough, so Grian would make sure that he didn’t either. 

Mumbo suddenly looked behind Grian at something. Curious, Grian looked behind him to see what the other hermit was looking at. Someone was rowing their boat towards the island. Grian could barely make out a stocky bearded man with a mechanical looking eye. Grian turned to Mumbo, avoiding eye contact with said person. “Who’s that?” He asked. 

“That’s Iskall! We’re good friends, I’m sure you’ll get along with him.” Mumbo waved at Iskall. He had stepped off the boat and onto the island, waving back at Mumbo. Grian hadn’t talked to Iskall the day prior when Xisuma had given him the rundown of the other hermits, though the admin had mentioned him. 

Iskall soon stood right in front of Grian and Mumbo, smiling widely. “Hey Mumbo!” Iskall waved to the aforementioned robot and then turned to face Grian. Looking at him more closely, Grian could tell Iskall wasn’t human but couldn’t quite tell what exactly he was. His pointed ears have him an idea of what he might be but hell if he was going to ask him. Grian supposed it didn’t matter anyway. “ And hallo! don’t believe we’ve met!” Iskall stuck his hand out to Grian, who took it awkwardly. “I’m Iskall! And you’re Grian right? Everyone’s been talking about you.”

Grian’s face reddened at the comment. “T-they have?”

“Of course! Getting a new hermit is always exciting! And Xisuma tells us your building skills are particularly impressive.” 

“Oh, really? That’s nice of him.” Grian said in a smaller voice than he would’ve liked. He couldn’t help but feel a bit flustered at the indirect compliment. 

“Yeah. I’ll have to see it for myself though.” Iskall laughed lightheartedly and gave Grian a firm pat on the shoulder. 

Grian chuckled at that. “Oh you will, trust me.” He could tell he’d be getting along with Iskall already. The enthusiasm he held was already making Grian feel more energetic and jumpy. 

“Well, always a pleasure to see you Iskall.” Mumbo said with a smile “ Did you need something?” 

“Oh nothing in particular,” Iskall answered nonchalantly “Just wanted to see what you’ve been up to so far.” 

Grian tuned out of the conversation as he watched the sun get closer to the horizon in the distance. A part of him was still worried about all of this, but mostly he was just excited. Excited to meet new people. Excited to start on more projects. Excited to be content once more. The sun was fully set and Grian waved his goodbyes that felt just a bit too soon, though he knew it was much better to get to sleep early. That night, he slept okay. 

The next day, Grian awoke feeling good. He was never much of a morning person, but at least today he actually felt like getting out of bed. Just as he got up and stretched out his wings, he glanced at the book and quill he kept in his base and felt a surge of inspiration. He realized he never really planned out what his actual base would be. Well, he had the basic idea, but he’d have to figure out the details. 

He was a bit further behind equipment-wise so it would probably be a bit longer until he started on his base. Still, it was good to be a step ahead, though he did make a mental note of going mining for a while later. Right now though, he had an idea growing in his head. 

As Grian began to scribble wobbly line after wobbly line onto the paper, his motivation only seemed to grow. He’d be the first to admit it didn’t look very good but still, he could envision the blocks of color, the tall intimidating pillars, the different layers. He didn’t realize just how much he missed letting ideas flow out of him like this, frantically pouring everything into any kind of outlet. It was so refreshing. After who knows how long, Grian was sure he knew what he wanted to do for the most part. Now it was time to really get to work. 

Grian gathered materials and made farms and made progress in any way he could that whole day. He worked and worked until he couldn’t feel his hands anymore, and it felt amazing. He knew he should probably take a break but he also knew he could handle doing a little extra work. Every ounce of motivation that came, Grian held onto it for dear life, making the most out of what he was given. Soon the sun set and Grian let himself collapse onto his bed, the waves splashing above and around him swaying his worked up mind to rest. Today was alright, he thought to himself. Maybe tomorrow would be too.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh boy, I can already tell that Mumbo is going to be real difficult to write (he may be a bit ooc...). That being said, I’m quite proud of his chapter even though I know the beginning here is going to be a bit dull in comparison to the rest. I also realize updates are probably going to be slower than I’d like. Anyway I’d appreciate if you’d tell me what you like or want to see in this series! Hopefully it’s not too hard to understand?


End file.
